Eating lunch, getting a cup of coffee, shopping, browsing a bookstore are all things that I (and any other human being) would do by myself. But then there comes the dreaded- and quite possibly humiliating- drinking by yourself at a bar. That I (and again, any other human being) find somewhat daunting and intimidation.
The Blair Waldorfs and Samantha Jones' seem to pull it off with grace and ease. Typically their drinking alone is brought short by a fellow gentleman wanting their company shortly after arrival. Thus ending the sad, lonely, masacistic existance. But what about us mere mortals? Those of us that don't have a movie script cuing a man's interest into our lives? Well I intended to find out.
For the first 45 minuets, I sat by myself pretending to write in a notebook with purpose hating my life. Feeling like a loser. Flashbacks to high school with no one to sit with at the lunch table. I gave myself another fifteens minuets before I would leave, buy myself a bottle of wine, and lick my wounded ego. Just after making that resolution, cue in Dan. Dan is a thirty-three Manhattanite in the field of textile engineering. Whatever the hell that is.
Dan offered for me to come sit with him and his friend Adam. I took him up on the offer and met Adam, one of the many New York financiers. Adam, Dan, and I talked for some time. Dan seemed really nice while I was less than impressed by Adam's ego. However not surprising among the hedge fund types. Adam kept talking about how his maid wasn't polishing his wood (pun may or may not be intended) to his satisfaction.
Food was ordered, drinks were bought, and somehow the conversation turned to how I don't have air conditioning in my apartment. Shock and amazement filled their faces. I refrained from commenting how not all of us were lucky enough to have maid services, a corner office on Wall Street, and an unlimited disposable income. It was then that Adam pulled out his wallet and started counting the 20 dollar bills asking me how much an air conditioner costs.
Eyes wide I looked at Adam. Then at Dan. Back to Adam and managed to stammer out an "I don't really know". Adam then looked at Dan and shrugged, "About $200 do you think?" all the while still counting the bills in his wallet.
In an attempt to wrap my head around what I thought was happening, I turned to Dan and asked, "is he trying to give me money for an air conditioner"?!
"I think so," was Dan's reply.
Oh. My. God. Disbelief, shock, and slight horror. A strange man was attempting to give me cash for a freaking air conditioner. I quickly told him that in no way was I going to allow him to give me money. I would rather sweat myself skinny. Taking cash from a guy- albeit for an air conditioner- is not something that I wanted to embark upon.
And to this day, I can't really believe that it actually happened.
Adam left shortly after that, but not before paying for the entire bill, my three Belvedere vodka drinks plus the two I had prior to meeting them, included. Dan and I then left to go to a bar called Lucy's. Where I ingested two pomegranate margaritas on top of my five vodka drinks. I was feeling real good. From there he hailed a cab and took me back to my apartment.
And yes, we definitely made out in the back seat of the cab. #42 can be crossed off my bucket list. He got out, walked me to the door, told the cab to wait, made out with me some more, and then got back in the cab to go all the way up to the Upper West Side to his residence.
Conclusion of the night? By all means do go to a bar by yourself! Just be prepared for all sorts of entertainment.
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